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[There is nothing] funky about a funky benno! This treacherous fiend will be often found [windmilling] his choad in Waterlooville precinct in an attempt to woo the local fruit cake “crazy Helen”. Benno and Helen are often found exchanging sexual favours in Home Bargains with another local nitty named ‘Denmead Shane’ and have actually been given lifetime bans from nearly all local establishments. A funky benno is a severe [sexual deviant] opting to penetrate anything he possibly can with his phallus, one Tesco worker had described how Benno had been caught humping the jam doughnuts in broad daylight.
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