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An imaginary weapon used to shoot your friends for any situation or succession of words that they spew out that makes them seem like a [homosexual] or pussy. You must hold your hand with your thumb and forefinger out, at a 90 degree angle, so your hand looks like a gun, and yell "Pew pew pew" as many times as you deem sufficient. Instances requiring the use of the Pew gun include, but are not limited to, the following: talking [on the phone] with your [girlfriend] more than 5 times a day, or more than 10 minutes at a time; eating a salad; watching access hollywood or any similarly gay show; drinking a bitch drink (fuzzy navel, margarita, etc.) or otherwise doing something fruity.
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