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A band that somehow made the world's best [deal with the devil] - they can produce what sounds like three cats being strangled in a blender during [World War II] and somehow convince a legion of slavering fans that it constitutes music. Not only that, but it's somehow worth a five-goddamn-part masturbatory epic about two fucking fantasy characters that Claudio Sanchez probably thought up sometime in third grade and just never let go. [Fuck that guy]. He looks like a yeti and sings like Robert Plant without the tone, talent, and masculine voice. Also, evidence that there is no just and loving God.
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