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A spooky wank is performed in bed. Lying on their back, the participant presses their buttocks firmly against the mattress and breaks wind. Whilst doing this, they close their eyes and imagine the resulting warm gust is a [particularly] arousing spirit that wishes to pass straight through right their rear and gain access their groin area. [Unfortunately], as the spirit is unable able to grasp or manipulate objects, the participant lends a [helping hand].
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