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The Formula For Becomming Johnny Depp: Step 1: Get a half dozen meaningless tattoos and plenty of sleeveless shirts to go along. Step 2: Grow your hair really long and have it cover your face. Join the screen actors union. Step 3: Always look very serious while smoking something (and they'd better be something French and sophisticated). Step 4: Now that you have the look down, get a photographer to shoot countless black and white Abercrombiesque photos of you so that little girls can hang your 40-year old body above their bed. Step 5: Despite your new sophistication, when choosing your acting roles, remember to seek the high-paying Disney/Tim Burton Movie parts. Step 6: Always act as eccentric as possible. Step 7: Cash your check, and use the money to fly your personal jet to Paris.
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