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I want to spend my life with you. I promised to marry you Julie... Why would I not want this to work? But if you want to leave me I can't force you to stay. That would be selfish of me. I just want you happy. So if being without me is what makes you happy then I'll have to accept that and just disapear out your life. You think [that's what] I want? It's not but do I have a choice? I can't make you love me. [I love you so much] this is so painful. Losing you. My biggest fear coming true. All I want is you so bad. Why can't I just have you. Why does everything have to go so wrong for me in life. Right when I finally find true happiness it gets snatched away from me. I'm deteriorating [on the inside] right now. I'm slowly gravitating towards self destruction. This pain is too unbearable. Fr
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