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The king [hippopotamus]. He runs the beach. The other hippos can't even go to sleep until Beachmaster does first. Now and then a younger hippo will challenge Beachmaster to a fight. If the challenger wins he becomes the new Beachmaster. However Beachmaster always wins. After victory Beachmaster will fornicate with a woman of his choosing. His favorite pastime is eating sausages from the [sausage tree], which blossoms once a year. He is also very protective of his fellow hippos. When a hippo dies, Beachmaster will protect the corpse from hyennas, lions, crocodiles, or whatever. However if he's hungry he will eat it himself. [The bottom line] is that Beachmaster is the shit.
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