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A spicy red burrito which contains 700 calories of processed beef and will give anyone who consumes it the major shits. Cancer burritos should be consumed no [more than] once a week at the very most and should not be consumed at all if possible. Symptoms of [the cancer] burrito include: massive shits, [constipation], stomach pains, sudden weight gain, addiction to the burrito and sudden decrease of the senses.
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