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The [darkest day] in mankind history. Forced to pick the gold that grew from the sacred Mongolian tree, Mongolians rushed to be the first to gather the sweet nectar bars of currency. As ladders did not exist, people were flung via catapults in order to rach the branches. The success rate of [hitting the tree] and avoiding a plummenting splatty death was .01%. The lucky few who made it on to the trees would be poked to death by the waiting Mongolians' sticks and cell phones. Only man mongonlian participating survived the battle, Sum yung-mahn, received the 75 gold bars the tree possessed, and then proceeded to burn down the tree with [a box of matches], perventing others from returning for a second gold growing. Since gold grows on Trees and is not a mineral, it would take rare gold seeds to replenish the source years later. When Sum tried to cash in his effort, he was shcoked to find that Mongolia has just be taken off the gold standard. Now holding useless bars of tree metal, Sum Yung-mahn was a poor broken man. He lated invented Buddism.

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