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Pronounced: Cray-bill-light; a sloth-like being, with unkempt patches of fur scattered about the face, forearms, and genitals; resembles a pre-domesticated Yeti, but six feet tall and wears New Balances; origins: the suburban Olney region, the Caspian Sea, or a Three Doors Down Concert.  Krehbielites tend to abhor natural sunlight, manual labor, and the teachings of the Torah/[Chicken Soup] for the Massive Douche bag.  Dietary needs: TGIFriday’s [Long Island Iced Tea], Esskay franks ala George Foreman, anything that gets unsuspecting sophomore girls (boys?) drunk, and Banana Boat SPF 30.  Daily ritual: [masturbating], hating self, formulating intricate fables about dating millionaire supermodels (currently on shoot in Milan), digging, crying.  Household concerns: routinely defecating on bathroom floor mat, dry-humping throw pillow, disregarding final notice credit card bills, and creating unprecedented amounts of filth—reducing habitat to a disjointed, chaotic entity that is unsuitable for any living thing.

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