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Likened to the dreaded [Freshman 15], the 15 pounds of weight you gain in the first year of college, [the COVID-19] is the 19 pounds of weight you can expect to gain from sheltering in place and stress eating during a pandemic. You gain [the COVID-19] when FedEx delivers the delicious prepared meals you ordered for the week and you're so bored you eat them all by Tuesday. You gain the COVID-19 when, finally, you eat up all the damn cans of beans you hoarded in March 2019 because you've been out of work so long you can't afford any new food.
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