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It pains me to utter it because the FBI will probably investigate me for it, but the C word refers to "Christmas." Originally derived from the Roman Saturnalia (observed on the winter solstice) and still viewed by some as a pagan holiday, in 2005 it was made illegal to say this word when preceded by the word "merry."  Also, according to federal law, if anyone now directs the dread term "[Merry Christmas]!" towards a non-Christian, the mandatory minimum punishment is 20 lumps of coal for Christmas, as well as castration (it is a sort of forced New Year's resolution that you will give up your sexuality, male or female).  In accordance with the law, in 2005 President [George W. Bush] sent out "Christmas" cards which simply read "Happy Holidays!"  This is now the official legal term for the time of year between Thanksgiving and [New Year's Day].  Acceptable alternatives are "Merry Festivus!," "Yo bitch, hava bomb ass Kwanza!," and "Happy Boxing Day!" (None of the three deal with religion, so they are legally acceptable now).

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