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Baby porcupines almost made it into Martha Stewart's coveted (amongst sentient spices) "SPICE-OF-THE-WEEK". Alas the sample was tainted by [porcupine] smegma, denied it's rightful place in the annals of spice history, and [eventually] turned to drugs and bad music to ease the pain of looking like a cross between Steve Buscemi and a chernobyl survivor. This substance is now known as baby [porcupine] juice
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