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A tubby, cookie eating son of a bitch. Prone to gorging himself on $1 Tacos on Taco Tuesday, complaining about how sick he feels, and promptly blowing out his o-ring in the office restroom. Gloriously oblivious to the fact that he's dumb as a shit sandwich. So dumb, in fact, that a Jaketard blurs the lines between deliberate obfuscation and just being helplessly fucking stupid.
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