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Heres a [quick] virtual tour of Crosby. First you’ll see a shit ton of [disrespectful] pedal bikers. Then you’ll see our prized possessions which come out to be the mine pits and meth! Looking for a pizzle? We got you! Just take a walk down smokers alley or through the pit road! Want some fake ass friends that are going to make you wish you had never been born? Crosbys got ya! Want people to start spreading rumors you’re on meth because you’re dating their ex? Well this is the place! Wanna be a cool kid? Hangout at the local park and see all the fuckboys revving their trucks up and sitting around judging every single person that comes in! [Have you ever] wanted to almost hit three tweakers and four pedal bikers with your car? Well just wait until 10:00pm and they’ll be all over [the fucking] streets usually wearing dark clothes so you cant even see them! Its like they want to get hit! Crosby also has a youth center where all the wanna be thugs and broke potheads go to steal food and start drama! Crosby has a little but of [something for everyone] so don’t you worry if you ever visit you can find anything you could ever need! Except a legitimate boyfriend/girlfriend.. Crosbys roads will have your shocks entirely ruined by the time you leave and none of the shops in town will fix it correctly and they will charge out the ass but at least you can say its “fixed”! Ever want to buy meth? Hit up some of the cops! Crosby, the town of nothing real except old mines and antique stores.
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