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A band that people with little musical taste and smaller minds try to convince themselves is awful because they have no concept of what music could or should be. These simple minded fools should learn about music (chord structure, accidentals, time signatures, scales, etc.) and then they would [understand] Phish's brilliance. Too bad these morons waste their time listening to crappy metal bands that can only pound [power chords] with tons of distortion, [beat the shit out of] crash cymbals, and scream like they are on the receiving end of a colonoscopy, which they probably enjoy.
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