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you have lived your life [pretending] there is no death. thus failing to value it, [appreciate] and milk it. everybody hints at your talents, your strength and beauty but you won't get up and get your share because you just won't see. You focus and obsess over him, channelling all your energy into your vague hope that he will love you and through a miracle you will function as an [independent], studious, dedicated servant of your community.
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