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Name: Shane Date of Birth: 10,000 b.c. Height: 4ft 5 in Weight: 287 lbs [Relationship Status]: Complicated (homosexual) Race: White (thinks he’s Indonesian) [Social Status]: Peasant Salary: $12 every two years Abilities: Can fit a whole bag of [jelly beans] up his asshole. Can also masturbate (but not by himself).
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