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The sloppiest most disorganized gang bang you've ever seen. Nobody’s even sure where this lady came from. Is it even a woman? Did anybody check? There's a steady stream of people coming in and out of the room. Somebody is barbecuing ribs [in the corner]. A chicken walks through. Who brought a t-shirt gun? Two dogs wrestle over a turkey bone shaped like Lance Armstrong's fat sister and one gives up [to take a shit] on [the carpet]. There's a raffle draw for Single A baseball tickets. In the far corner a be-mulleted Peruvian musician with not enough teeth sings a barely passable Spanish version of Come On Eileen to two homely yet (slightly) moist 50-year-old twin sisters from Wisconsin, etc, etc

Named after the pure [pandemonic] crosswalk experience of Mexico City where simply crossing the road is a messy adventure in every step. [Pedestrians] are targets. Red lights are merely advisory. A chicken walks through. A toddler holding a partially eaten cob of corn is crying… or possibly choking?? Two seniors stop mid-street to dance to some music that has too many horns in it. Did I just step over an original Atari game console covered in sticky lotion? A guy with a cart full of heavy-duty safes, faucet heads and typewriters goes window to window of stopped cars to try and see if anybody needs to buy a heavy-duty safe, faucet head or typewriter, etc, etc

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