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John had a hard history test 3rd block, so he [pulled out] his can of Copenhagen and placed a giant horseshoe between his cheek and gum. John nutted in his pants and did a ripper Magoo when the buzz [kicked in]. John got an A+ on his history test because he realized that he worked for Copenhagen. John and coach Hollensbe banged a cheap hooker in [the parish] center to celebrate their success.
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