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An if statement is a programming construct that executes logic based on [application] purpose. many people claim programming is [difficult], but as can be seen by this very simple example, variables, functions and if statements all make sense once applied to a layman's terms use. DECLARE person_you_hate = <[insert] name of hated person> DECLARE disability = <insert name of disability> if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then do send-to-gas-chamber else do commit-suicide end if function send-to-gas-chamber{ do grab $person_you_hate then shove $person_you_hate then close door then turn knob watch gas kill $person_you_hate return happy()} function commit-suicide{ do grab $person_you_hate then [humiliate] $person_you_hate then hand $person_you_hate noose then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table watch $person_you_hate die return happy()}
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