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Also known as "Taxachusetts," this state is the official effete snob state of New England. Official pastimes of this state include; Red Sox baseball, Patriots football, paying high taxes, daily brushes of death on the highway (esp. Rt. 128), and paying more taxes. According to 2000 Census records, Massachusetts was the only state in the union to lose population. Massachusetts has two main redeeming qualities. The first is it's proximity to sale-tax-free [New Hampshire], which results in savings to residents of [the North Shore]. The second is the residency of Jeff Johnson, [Urban Dictionary] Laureate (see Scale of Dinosaurs).
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