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Hot [Puerto Rican] babe who does the sickest card tricks. [Everyone] loves him, except for certain people who are mad because of how hot he is. Just wait until Mateo fucks ur shit up, he will pop a magic cap on yo ass and u won't be ready for it. He will make u feel like you have just been raped by an albino elephant on viagra. [Don't ask] about how he does his magic or he will shove a rake in your crack.
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