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A Cullen is a crotchety old geezer that lives in the [overgrown] foothills of [West Virginia]. A Cullen has a tendency of defending his caverns with a strong smelling excretion that secretes through the anus. Cullens are known to prey on smaller creatures when they are hangry. The only identifiable marks that we hold on records is the reports of hikers seeing a hairy back tattoo walking [through the woods], and the lingering smell of musk and pipe tobacco. Cullen’s were though to be extinct until Wetherford T. Shittytit saw one in 1847.
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