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A Westside Whittler is a birchball player who possess the glove of Ozzie Smith, the bat of Babe Ruth, the speed of Ricky Henderson and the arm of Vladimir Guerrero. Whittlers are the cream of the crop of all of humanity. Losing is not in a Whittler's vocabulary. If you should come upon a Westside Whittler, shake their hand and never wash it, that is the closest you will ever get to meeting a birchball God.
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