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The Alaskan McGuyver is when a man living in cold regions finds it difficult to jack off because his fingers have turned into icicles. He proceeds to put his bottle of [lubricant] of choice into the microwave at 100 percent power for 45 seconds to achieve a [comfortable] heat level and [consistency] for his subsequent jerk off sesh to Eskimo porn. Always remember it's 0:45 not 4:50 on the timer and microwave cooking times may vary.
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