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My mother. No, she wasn't white either, plus she was all wrinkly and shit by the time I was 30. Stupid [Renaissance] painters, always making her look like a teenager...for My Dad's sake, she was like 48 at the time. You were lucky to live to My age [in the early] A.D. years. Take a look at the paintings of Caravaggio for a more [accurate] depiction, minus the fact that he painted us all white.
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