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So tell me something [I don't know].  Tell me something that doesn't only perpetuate counterproductive, negative sentiments.  You're in college for fuck's sake.  Stop crying about it as if you're in high school and whining that there's not a damn thing you can do to change your stance in this world.  You can do whatever the hell you want.  You can destroy your body with liquor and drugs AND contract STD's in the alley of the Rat.  You may want to keep in mind, however, that your parents are investing a shitload into you regardless of your continual insistence that you should be at Cornell.  Newsflash: They didn't fucking want you.  Now suck it up and [make the most of] the situation you got.  We have become a generation of Who Has It Worse and we just don't care what anyone [else] has to say.  We know it all already: that life in Bumblefuck Binghamton sucks and people are so [predictable] it hurts.  But here is what we really are: self-absorbed and depressed nutcases.  And it's a damn shame.  We cannot wait to relay our tales of woe so that we can say "I have it worse."  There's never any "how can I make it better?"  So in that case, drop out of this awful fucking school and get a job somewhere.  Start the process early.  However should you choose to make the most of it, stop worrying about the Japs of Binghamton, donate your actual time helping someone out, and then tell me you've only begun to discover [the meaning of life].

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