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A monster who gets drive out of [having a baby] with a beautiful [young girl] who's mom has died then leaves her for her [best friend] when she flies to Mexico to deal with her mother's death. Reeks of hot tuna and his balls are filled with balsamic vinegar. His arteries consist of slippy Joes and his blood is 95 percent vodka. Has no feelings because his heart has a pinched nerve from injecting himself with hatred and disgrace.
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