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A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts: 1. Don't play the clarinet poorly. 2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.) 3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge. 4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.) 5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion. 6. Or [clown shoes]. 7. Or a hoop skirt. 8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE. 9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the [opportunity] to attack again. 10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running. In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit [in the middle], and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
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