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1. Basically Potomac except with eight times as many restaurants, three times as many crazy soccer moms, half the number of polo shirts and a shorter commute into DC.
2. City in which walking in any direction for fifteen minutes will inevitably lead you to a Starbucks.
3. Suburbia trying to be urban.
4. Place in which it is extremely dangerous to be a small property, business or house [because you are] statistically certain to eventually be bought by a rich developer, torn down, built up ten stories high and be sold at ten times your original price.
5. The weekend haunt of slutty-looking pre-teens [wearing] short skirts or trying to skateboard.
6. Where you will never find a parking space ever, and if you do it won't matter because the restaurant will have a three hour wait anyways.
7. Somewhere deceivingly [entertaining], since the only real thing to do is eat or visit Barnes&Noble.
8. A limiting factor when it comes to [getting into] college, since everyone around you is an overachieving freak who does three sports, is in theatre, edits the yearbook, and is on SGA.

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