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A yuppie is any man or [woman] who believes they are entitled to high end paying jobs with little or no experience. This is the “everyone gets a trophy generation”, which was created by the “latch key [kid] generation.” [Parents] of yuppies, while trying to eat their emotions of loneliness, successfully over compensation their children’s accomplishments and discounting their failures. Mainly because their [mommy] and daddy was smoking crack in the parking lot of a WHAM concert in the [80]’s,while they sat on the living room floor alone eating Trix in a cup while watching the Smurfs.

Although Yuppies appear to have the latest in “[trendy] retro clothes”, in reality, they dress this way because they have no [job] and ransacked their grandma’s attic, grabbing what moth eating clothes they could. Then return to their unfurnished apartment, to which they [will] refer to as a “studio” that has a small eco footprint, which supports a generation that doesn’t need “physical things.” Another physical trait of the yuppie, is the more recent Pompadour Fade, or otherwise known as the grease comb over. Although trendy, it is actually by design, a health measure. By smearing grease in their hair, pulling to one side and shaving the side of their head, this allows for ease when checking for mites or lice, due to the fact that they are unable to have running [water] in their “studio”. This “Fad” [will] allow the [perfect] disguise to hide their true balding within the next 5-10 years.

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