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If I told you that Tool's latest album, Lateralus, was way better than everything else currently on the market, would you believe me? Probably not. First of all, you don't know me. Second of all, you probably don't listen to Tool, because most radio stations pretty much ignore them. It's easier to follow what the radio tells you to listen to, isn't it? The answer, of course, is yes. But what if you are looking for more than the everyday stuff? It's an undeniable fact that mainstream music is becoming bland. The record companies churn out single after single of "one hit wonders", creating radio garbage. Manufactured artists with no potential play their song, make some money, and then are never heard of again. ("Who Let the Dogs Out" anyone?) It has been happening since the beginning of Rock and Roll, and it probably will continue on forever. The only problem is that it seems to be getting worse. One has to ask him or herself, "How many of these bands are going to be remembered thirty years from now, the way bands like Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones are remembered today?" Yes, every era has had its share of bands that come and go faster than Mick Jagger's voice at a Rolling Stone's Concert, and there is no stopping them. So why not go for something different? It is hard for the average music fan to change his or her taste. Your average music fan usually starts off listening to what his parents listened to, simply because he is not aware of anything else. Then, he turns the dial on the radio, and discovers rock, rap, pop, and other exciting genres. At about the same time, the average music fan's friends start to turn the dials on their radios, too. As they get older, they collectively start to worship a certain type of music. Then, whatever their radio station of choice tells them what listen to, they blindly obey. It doesn't matter that the quality of the music is steadily declining. The radio says do it, and then like the sheep humans are, they listen to the voice. Then the sheep run to the music store and spend fifteen to twenty dollars on a compact disc containing one popular song, and forty minutes of noise. Two weeks later, the family dog chews happily away at the shiny round thing it found in the garbage can. For some people, this cycle will never end. For others however, it does. Around their late teens, some people start to notice that there is other music out there. It doesn't get played on the radio. Naivety may have told them its because the music is not "good enough", but they now know better. It's too good. The average music fan won't like it because it doesn't make sense to him. The radio won't play it because the average music fan won't listen to it. Progressive rock tends to fall under this category. Progressive rock is like modern rock; however, it is smarter, longer, and instrumentally diverse. Progressive rock does not get played on the radio because after five minutes, the average music fan gets bored. This is very unfortunate, because progressive rock is spectacular. It can move a person in ways that regular mainstream music can't. Some like to refer to it as "smart rock". Pink Floyd is good example of a great progressive rock band, which did make it big. That is because during the seventies, long instrumentals were popular and were allowed to be played on the radio. Today, they are not. Pink Floyd's "The Wall" is the definitive progressive rock album. Many are comparing "Lateralus", by Tool to The Wall. "Lateralus" is not like "The Wall". Yes they are both long, and they both have a lot of synthesizers in them. That would be the end of their similarities. Neither one is better because they cannot be compared. So why try? "Lateralus" is not a typical Tool album either. None of its songs sound like "Sober" or "Prison Sex". Tool has gone a few steps higher with this album. It is meant to be heard all at once, almost like an opera. It is slow. Not slow in its speed, but slow in the way it gets from point A to point B. While a good riff in any other song gets heard a few times before the song is over, a Tool riff is explored like it could be the cure for cancer. The riff plays on, only slightly changing, to a point of hypnosis, before the song continues. The members of Tool are not afraid to do this. They aren't worried if the song exceeds ten minutes in length. They don't care that this kills their chance of getting on the radio. Tool is simply interested in making beautiful music. Beautiful music may be an odd word to use on an album that is so heavy and full of anguish. But it is beautiful the way fire is beautiful. It is destructive yet captivating. As usual, Maynard James Keenan's vocals are heavenly, and his lyrics are deep and poetic. The guitar, base and drums are rock solid, and play together like an orchestra. And the synthesizers top it off, making it eerie and full. The album is a masterpiece. One can listen to the radio, and then again, one can find something better. Lateralus mocks radio music, and takes pride in the fact that only a select audience will listen. Perhaps this is a blessing. Popularity is often a band's downfall. It would be hard to accept the fall of a band like Tool.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
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Cute, good quality, *****!

Bonnie H.Oct 30
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Exactly as expected!

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My order was delivered very quickly and was high quality. Glad to add it to my mug shelf.

Dave M.Oct 29
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God is still alive. The existence of this mug shows there is still faith that god is dead and is listening to us. God Bless,

Yeetus Da FeetusOct 28

Gay Label Adore this. Ordered for my husband, with the second definition on the back, about the gay filmmaker. Makes a nice discussion starter.

DanOct 27

Top notch shipping and exactly what I hoped!!

Susan S.Oct 27
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Best mug i have ever purchased! Subscribe

LazarBeamOct 26

I love it, but of course the definition Ichose for “Unicorn” is too long and gets cut off after “someone is remarkably attractive.” Is there any way to purchase a second mug that has the rest of the quote on it? They’d make a great set as a present. Please let me know. David Tillinghast dtilling480@gmail.com

David T.Oct 25
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Review by Joey H.

"Turtle on my name". A tribute to the 50 odd years of misheard lyrics.

Joey H.Oct 23
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My friend couldn’t stop laughing when I gave it to him!

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I got mugged A man mugged me and then said I had da big gaye

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I love the costume coffee mug. What can you say that's bad about it. It's your choice after all. It's the best mug and I love it😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️

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My Power Bottom Queen loves her eggplant colored mug and I let her celebrate her title whenever she so chooses

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I use black hobby paint & small brush to add recipient’s name to back of mug (which I requested be left blank - thank you!). This is a terrific gift for hard-to-buy-for slightly warped friends! BG

Robert G.Oct 21
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good mug but why does it sometimes say creepy things to me kinda sus ngl

candice d.Oct 20

up ya bum

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Fast shipment Better than expected!

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Customer service was very responsive and helpful

John K.Oct 20
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Wowzers

Wee Z.Oct 19
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