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The town where 14 year olds get pregnant by 27 year olds, drug deals go down in the McDonald's parking lot , 13 year old pot heads roam [the streets], and where people judge you for absolute fucking reason. Need a temporary friendship that lasts for 4 days? That's nothing Cambridge can't do for you! Need a boyfriend/girlfriend just for the sake that you can say you have one? Cambridge has got your back! Want to be a true thug? Visit the crematorium, and hang out at the skate park! Have absolutely no talent, and can't sing for shit? That's OK, make a YouTube channel anways, and feed off of the "[compliments]". Trying to get popular? Simple, suck a dick! Here at fuckboy city, girls and guys find a new 'significant other' each and every week, and call it "true love". Need any extra makeup? The fake girls here have plenty caked on their face, just for you! Virgin? God forbid, you're a slut.

Book your visit today, to meet all the [narcissistic] sluts and fuckboys of Cambridge, Minnesota. We have everything you need to [fuck you up] emotionally, and question your existence.

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