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An erotic phenomenon characterized by an exchange of power in which She claims authority and dominance over the submissive male; a consensual arrangement which differs dramatically from more overtly mainstream heterosexual sexual practices where the male is assumed to be the essentially dominant predator. Subby fantasies have been misinterpreted as being the essence of Femdom; they have fed the industry as a commercial phenomenon. His fantasies are not what arouses Her. Femdom porn represents the D/s dynamic to the same extent that hetero porn represents the dynamic of loving in conventional relationships; it doesn't. In the Femdom dynamic the male may be motivated primarily by his sexual fantasies, often of a masochistic nature, to the extent that these desires drive him to manipulate his female partner into taking the upper hand for his pleasure alone. But fundamentally, a Femdom relationship should be both theoretically and practically founded on Her needs, pleasures, desires, whims and caprices. Femdom as a lifestyle is founded on loving but firm Female authority, respect and devotion and altruistic service from Her partner, not on his sexual fantasies. A genuine submissive in an authentic Femdom relationship will strive to remind himself that Femdom is about pleasing his Goddess first and foremost to the very best of his abilities, making Her sexual needs more important that his own, and not offending her by making his submission all about himself.

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