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So like thousands of years ago, there were aliens on this planet and then this galactic overlord came and killed all of them. Their soles went into a volcano. And then man evolved or something and now their soles reside in us, and that's what makes us sad and depressed. And so you give them $250 and they give you a book that tells you about your thinking levels. And then, and then your a Scientologist... But only if you pay them money, you cant get in for free.
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