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An ugly, dumpy version of Strong Bad with a [beer belly] and a comb-over. Walks around with a [grocery bag] from Aldi which is full of unknown contents, save for a melty candy bar which he chews on very loudly while standing too close to you in line. Has a tendency to say things that are not quite one thing, and not quite another. See below for example. He is believed to smell like Pea Soup. Also, he lives behind a bush and pops out as you walk by. He's so cool, [you don't even know] he's cool. Recently opened a Mortgage service.
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