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He was the sixteenth president of the United States who was the first one to coin the sex move an "Abe Lincoln" where one proceeds to jizz in another's face and throw pubes on the jizz creating a silly beard. He also invented Lincoln Logs and in his spare time hunted vampires attempting to free the slaves from the dark overlords of the South who were running the cotton industry. Vampires secretly created a contraption called the "tampon" where a woman stores it in her vagina during her time of the month leaving a discarded tasty snack to be consumed.
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