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A simple game invented by English women who wanted to kill some time while their husbands cleaned the apartment and cooked dinner. (During WWII, thousands of American GIs stationed in Britain prior to the D-Day invasion were able keep British women occupied which led to a temporary decrease in soccer's popularity) Soccer requires moderate stamina but very little skill or strategy, which is why it is such a popular sport in Bolivia and the UK as well as with special education students in the U.S. Studies have shown a direct link between fondness for soccer and frequent masturbation, which is why Britain excels at wanking. Soccer fans have inferiority complexes which explains why they have to grossly exaggerate the "skills" required to play soccer (i.e. kicking a ball around and remembering which goal is yours). Last year, the American WOMEN'S team defeated several European men's teams, which surprised many observers.
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