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The island of enchantment. An island with over 270 miles of [amazingly beautiful] beaches. The culinary capital of the Caribbean. Famous for its seductive nightlife. Home to endless [natural beauty]. Home and birthplace of Barcardi and Medalla. Birthplace of Salsa. And home to the most good-looking and happiest people on Earth. Ignore any pointless definitions. They were written mostly by ignorant, stupid, hillbilly, redneck incompetents who were probably born on shitty land-locked states, probably haven't been further than 10 miles from the most [insignificant] town of (insert shitty, useless town name here) on which they were born, and the closest they have been to a beach is a toad infested lake.
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