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The mathematical process by which one or a group measures the quality and size of their shits. A way to compare shits between competing friends/enemies. There is an average shit for humanity, as taken by Jesus Christ unto St. Peter's face (the Holy Shit), and shits greater than or less than the Holy Shit is measured by standard deviation in terms of chippermonkeys. Shitistics apply to size, girth, smell, denisty, color, and toilet clogging ability. Shitistics are measured by a neutral arbiter in a "who took the biggest shit" dispute.
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