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A ballerina from Belgium with a [speech impediment] who really likes to do splits. Van Damme hasn't made a good movie yet, though, he keeps trying, which is great because now we get to celebrate his [mediocrity] with him --how original. I've actually heard he's a [pretty nice] guy which makes little difference to most Americans because they have no fuckin' clue where Belgium actually is located on a map since Geography and History are both taught as one subject in school.
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