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2,600 Long Island kids fill the hallways of this elite Long Island [Catholic high school] each day. 75 passing grade makes us awesome. Typical student is [upper middle class], white, from [the North Shore] of Long Island or some upscale town like Dix Hills or Brookville. Girls can be seen at 8am sporting their Northface, Uggs, Burberry scarf, and a coffee. Vineyard Vines clothing and Sperrys are popular. St. Anthony's students are 25 percent brains, 25 percent class, 25 percent looks, and 25 percent beast, which basically means that they're 100 percent awesome. 99 percent of St. Anthony's kids go off to the best colleges to make a shitload of money one day in the future while out of the other 1 percent, .9 go to the best military academies and .1 percent mooch off mommy and daddy and roll around in solid gold 24K bathtubs bathing themselves in Benjamins. When Christmastime rolls around, Saint Anthony's seniors go HAM. Mention Chaminade and someone is bound to say "gay" and vomits. Parents pour money into the school so that it can construct $40 million student centers, chapels filled with antiques, new stadiums, etc. By 2020, St. Anthony's High School will make Dubai look like a shithole at the rate Brother Gary is going.

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