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1. A male ginger, usually under age 18, who obsessively drinks milk and naps. As a result, the bones of a portley are almost pure calcium. The blood of a portley is 98.62% milk. In addition, portleys account for 82.7% of the world's milk consumption. They are often oafy and counter the effects of their milk drinking habits to an extent by drinking beer. This is called the "Portley Paradox". Their favorite song is always, without fail, Warm Leatherette by The Normal.
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