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The most vicious diarrhea caused by [Chinese takeout] food. Symptoms that show Diarrhea Takeout include eating takeout, burning of the anus, [yellowish] colored puss and blood seeping from the anal cavity, and itching of the rectum. If you are one of the 30 that manage to make it to the toilet in time, you will be able to compare [the experience] to anal childbirth and wiping your ass with sandpaper. Side affects may include nausea, loss of appetite, inability to sit properly, and blackouts due to loss of body mass, involuntary fainting, and dehydration.
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