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A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of [problematical] accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and [questionable] mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was [unfortunate] enough to ask for the information in the first place.
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