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Also known as Quantum Handjob Theory, Quantum Handjob Mechanics is a branch of physics providing a [mathematical] description of the dual particle-like and wave-like behavior and interaction of the hand and penis. Quantum Handjob Mechanics describes the time evolution of physical systems via a [mathematical] structure called the Cum Function. The Cum Function encapsulates the probability that an orgasm is to be reached in a given state at a given time. Quantum Handjob Mechanics is closely intertwined with the Hymenberg Uncertainty Principle, which relates the [fundamental] principle that it is impossible to simultaneously measure the present proximity to an orgasm while "determining" the future momentum of a subsequent orgasm with an arbitrary degree of accuracy and certainty.
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