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A Vampire who's never had sex in all of his life (which is like over a 100 years). When he does have sex, it's with an anorexic emo whore who's got a Beastiality Fetish with dogs. He knocked her up and know has to change her into a super-fag who can rip his balls off. Yeah, your balls are so in her purse, bro. He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style. Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain. Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
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