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A reluctant sword smith, women tend to trip over their tongues as he passes by. usually reviled by other males for having mythical penis girth. Usually compared to god like figures such as Zeus and Thor. one of the greatest Jared's was delivered to planet earth in 1975 via non earth like space craft - is also allergic to Kryptonite. probably the best all round rooter in the solar system, women have been known to gush uncontrollably and pass out at the mere sight of his powerful index and middle fingers - so he wears ski gloves in public - or hand prosthesis. Once pointed at chuck Norris and Barry Dawson in a pub and told them to leave, Barry ran, Chuck fell to his knees and orgasmed uncontrollably - he wasn't wearing any gloves that day. Everyone should nickname their penis Jared.
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