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Poland is best known for its range of smoked meats, cured fish and the booming trade of sexual minors.

Prostitutes retire a at the age of 12 to work in one of the many sausage factories that dot the country side. It is at this stage that Polish females gain most of their 'winter weight', before they make the slow transition to a 'breeder'. Females who have reached the breeder stage are expected to give birth to no fewer than 8 children, all of whom will be blessed with certain forms or retardation.

Polish women are owned by a male or "Sausage Dick". The male is responsible for the sexual abuse of his children. Only when the children are strong enough to rape their father are they permitted to leave the family home and start their own families. Often, children of the same family will interbreed, ensuring that strong bloodlines continue for generations.

The Polish people are responsible for some of the greatest innovations in human history. The Poles actually invented the wheel of cheese before inventing the wheel, they also pioneered the cheese filled cheese.

Polish humour has a reputation that stretches far beyond its borders. Common themes of polish humour include rape, rape of minors, rape of livestock and rape of one's mother.

Poland also invests heavily in future national development. A swimming pool was recently dug in the capital city of Warsaw and the polish space programme made the recent purchase of a small minivan in relatively good condition.

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